There is a particular breed of person who relentlessly pursues perfection in a partner. If this is you, listen up!
While it’s great to have high expectations in a lifelong mate, it’s unrealistic to have him/her comply with a list of super-specific criteria. If you continuously find someone great, date a while, then end the relationship abruptly because you fixate on a small flaw, prepare to end the cycle and find love now.
To create a more realistic expectation, think about 7 – not 17 – qualities that really matter to you. Write them down in a prioritized list, and keep it handy. (Preferably, you’ve listed things like “kind,” and not “blond,” unless hair color is really important to you.)
Next, write down the names of the most significant relationships you’ve had in the past six years and check out your trend. How many of the people you’ve dated have had these qualities? Have you been getting closer or farther away over the years? Think about changing your strategies for meeting the kind of lover you seek, or your priorities, if you’ve been losing ground. Once you meet someone with the 7 core qualities, stay focused on them when you eventually notice a flaw (which you will). Dwelling on a flaw and dumping someone prematurely is simply a way to protect yourself from the fear of getting hurt in a relationship.
Give this do-it-yourself approach a try for six months. Then, if you’re still hooked on “the relentless pursuit of perfection,” seek professional assistance.