Slow Things Down with Tantra

Do you ever feel like intimacy with your partner is just one more thing you need to cram into your day? Make a point to clear your schedule, clear your mind, and give your lover some special attention with some principles drawn from tantric sex.

Tantra is an Eastern approach to love-making that puts a lot more emphasis on slow stroking and spiritual connection and a lot less on orgasm. In the authentic, traditional approach, release of semen is viewed as a loss of “vital” fluid and is consequently discouraged.



All versions of tantra emphasize s-l-o-w, gentle stroking and complete focus on moment-to-moment sensations of pleasure. Deep breathing in synchrony is also a tantric way to create a sense of oneness with your partner. Intercourse, if it takes place, occurs after extensive stroking (translation: think one hour, not 15 minutes). It’s also extended,  and begins with the penis only penetrating the vagina by only an inch or so, staying there for a full minute and then withdrawing.

After resting on the clitoral hood for about a minute, the penis then slides back in. During subsequent rest periods, the penis initially stays outside the vaginal lips and then waits just inside them before penetrating again. To inhibit ejaculation in the missionary position, have him lift himself up on one hand and use his free hand to gently but firmly pull down on his testicles. Or you could do that for him.

In a nutshell, a tantric approach  is about tossing aside goal-directed approaches to sex in favor of steeping yourself in sensual and spiritual connection. Give it a try.