Stuck in a Rut?

A common complaint I often hear from clients and students in longer term relationships is that they are open to new ideas but can’t think of something new to try when they’re in a sexual mood.

In writing Love Skills, I came up with an adventurous idea that’s worked well for many (I’ve received lots of positive feedback on it.) First, create a “LovePlay Suggestion Box.” Sit down together. Write down on slips of paper any ideas for creative sex play that appeal to both of you. Fold up each suggestion and put it in the box.

Here are a few ideas to get you going: Put on sexy, alluring clothes; wear a mask; go on the town with no underwear; a new position, sexual activity or location; body painting; role-playing.

Place other ideas in the box whenever they occur to you, so it’s stocked with fresh suggestions. Any time you want to try something different and playful, simply fish out a slip of paper and do whatever it says. If you draw an activity that doesn’t appeal to you at the time, simply toss it back in and select another one that does.